ourheartsarecompatible | Excuse me while I dodge your captcha...

[When the humor falls away, all that's left is the intense care, and attention that Markus always put toward the things that he really cares about. It likewise makes Simon terribly aware of every single aspect of the moment, from the chill of the atmosphere to the minute shift of clothes to the barely-there breath that drifts between them when his mouth barely opens into the kiss. His brow remains furrowed, as if still worried in spite of being very thoroughly made aware and being fully willing to let Markus do as he will. His hands emerge from behind him and skim up Markus' arms until his hands have made their way up to the sides of the other's neck.

He draws away after a long, quiet moment, only just far enough to let himself sag against the console and pull Markus along with him, the desire creeping through that contact point just to keep him close. He doesn't necessarily need to make eye contact to make it clear that, in the moment, he just wants that proximity.]

[Markus understands, or he hopes that he does. The combination of Simon's lips and hands touching his outer skin in different, yet equally powerful ways has Markus feeling a bit overclocked, so it's not hard to imagine that Simon could also use a break to avoid a catastrophe like last time.

He lets himself be pulled close and presses their foreheads together, brushing his nose against Simon's but never dipping in for another kiss. His arms go around Simon's back, big hands splayed out to steady himself as much as to keep Simon close.]

How did that feel? [Quiet and tender - Markus isn't teasing anymore, he really is checking in.]

[A moment of silence, and Simon nods just a little bit as his teeth worry briefly at the inside of his lip. Now that he was prepared for it and had had some time to recover from his injuries, he isn't nearly as keyed up and ready to shut down.

He'd never really noticed before, how evenly matched their heights actually are. He generally let himself be small, particularly in contrast to Markus' slightly larger-than-life presence, but like this he feels comfortable in relaxing enough to unwind the constant tension in his body, just for a little while, and bring himself up a little more fully.]

I'd like you to kiss me again before we need to go and check in on the new arrivals.

[Because unfortunately, they'd all decided that it was important that they be seen in and around their people, making sure that everyone was settling in and finding their way. It doesn't leave a lot of time to just have these quiet moments.]

I'd be happy to.

[This time Markus kisses a little harder, parts his lips a little wider, just to dip another toe into the water and see what Simon enjoys. They won't be this tentative with each other forever, and Markus wants to do more than just pacify Simon's nerves.

Once he's ready for it, Markus wants to find the state between neutral and overwhelmed where Simon can really enjoy himself and feel good.

Finding skin isn't as easy where Markus has rested his hands, but he manages to ruck up Simon's oversized shirt just enough to reach the fitted layer beneath and touch him over that much thinner fabric. His fingertips ghost up the rigid path of Simon's spinal apparatus where it sits just beneath the skin, and he smiles against Simon's lips in sheer contentment at the two of them joining in such an intimate embrace.]

[And Simon finally smiles into the kiss. One of the hands still resting at Markus' neck slides back to the back of his head, the other one coasting back down his arm to rest at his elbow. There's a distinct comfort in the way Markus wraps around him, and it soothes some of his more creeping, indistinct worries.

It seems that the desire to be held doesn't just extend to humans.

Another kiss opens between them, just the lightest ghost of breath and brush of lips that follows the nudge of the end of his nose against Markus', leading without real intent. He's enjoying the simple intimacy that the moment affords them without the stress of wanting or needing more.]

[As long as Simon will keep indulging Markus with these light, warm kisses, he'll stay right where he is and return every single one without pushing for more. Indulgent is exactly how he feels right now, something he hasn't experienced since he lost Carl and has never experienced quite like this - there are other things he could do, other jobs that doubtless need his attention, but none are urgent enough to tug him away from Simon's lips and so he stays here.

Even when he starts to wonder how often humans get to feel like this, and how many androids still never have and maybe never will, he forces the thoughts down. Not now.

A faint melody rises and sticks in his head, though, and will eventually reach Simon through their connected lips. Markus saved this song for mornings when Carl woke up cheerful, not as inclined to reject medical necessities and grumble about what was laid out for breakfast or what he saw on TV; it would entwine itself into the pleasant energy and lend it an air of peace that made Markus wonder if this feeling was what humans sought to convey with the word perfect.]

[It takes a moment for him to parse the music in his mind, passed between their lips to spark those light places in his memory. In return he offers a vision of brightly colored flowers fussed into place by long, pale fingers. While Markus finds contentment in the sounds of his former life, Simon immerses himself in the simple beauty of a fresh bouquet and a home freshly cleaned and arranged just so. In sunlight and birdsong.

They're of the same mind in that moment; no matter where they are in reality, they could build these perfect moments for themselves, just for a little while.]

[Flowers again. Having seen them twice now through Simon's eyes, Markus thinks he'll forever associate flowers with the warm golden glow that is Simon's happiness.

Markus is happy too, incredibly happy, so it comes as a shock to him when something in his chest hitches and he's the one who has to pull away to gather himself. There are tears on his face again, he realizes all at once, and the crying must be what caused his chest to feel constricted... but why?

Can someone feel so content that it brings tears to their eyes?]

[And this, in this moment, is something that Simon is very familiar with. The welling of emotion that overwhelms logic and programming and has to come out somehow. They're the kind of tears that happen when one is totally overcome, and now...

Well. Now Markus knows how it feels.

So Simon just takes his hands, smiling so softly and letting those feelings filter into himself, lessening them just a little bit, taking the edge off of it, and just feeling the depth of it before he leans to kiss the track of tears down Markus' cheek before wiping it away with the heel of his hand.]

Breathe through it, and talk to me. [It would help to let it be external, he thinks. For someone like Markus that doesn't know how to bottle up or cope with sudden surges of emotion, he could slip back into his former role as caretaker.]

[His breathing is rough and jagged all of a sudden, even though no system warnings have appeared; it startles him when Simon seems to know exactly what he needs to hear, what he needs to make his body do but isn't sure how to force such an automatic process.

This... this must be what makes Simon turn and run.]

It's tight. Everything is tight. [Markus presses a hand to his chest (and dimly remembers all the times he's seen Simon do the same) to focus his attention on the venting chambers there - in and out, in and out. His head tilts automatically toward Simon's hand, pressing into his comforting touch, and he screws his eyes shut to block out as much outside stimulus as possible.]

I didn't - I've never - [Swallow hard, breathe, try again.] - have you felt this - this much -

[No, Markus can't quite string together thoughts yet, but he's getting closer.]

Okay, okay...

[Simon wraps his arms loosely around Markus, drawing him in to let his head rest against Simon's shoulder, to tuck his face against the soft, dark fabric of his sweater and block out some of the external stimulus that could be very hard to cope with unless you know how.

He rocks Markus gently in place until he feels the overheated venting of breath through his sweater starting to slow down again.]

Color?

[Here's the thing - Markus's current feelings are all so wrapped up in Simon that being held against him with such tender care doesn't exactly do much to dissipate them. But he does find that his physical form stops its extreme responses after a while, and that puts him in a much better place to start processing what it is he feels so intensely.]

... blue. [A long sigh into Simon's shirt. He lifts his head and looks at Simon with his eyebrows pinched together in confusion and a slight frown on his lips.] I don't know why that happened. I was... I was happy.

[Simon uses his sleeve to dry the remaining tears and just nods his head.]

Sometimes, even positive emotions can cause a stress spike when they become greater than your current maximum threshold. You don't have anything past neutral-positive in your history, nothing that would adequately prepare you for it.

[That really explains a lot more for Markus than Simon might realize. His forehead smoothes out again and a wry smile tugs at his mouth, making him look somewhat sheepish.]

Simon, I may have misread... a lot about your response to me before today. Almost everything.

[He feels...kind of called out, in that moment. Because he had been interested in, fascinated by, intrigued and then entranced by Markus nearly from the beginning, when he'd proposed the theft of supplies from a Cyberlife warehouse. His presence had brought out a lot more in Simon than he'd ever believed he'd had in him, and it was frightening and intense until he'd learned what it was and how to use his own child psychology programming to start helping himself through it. Because they are all still emotionally infants in many cases despite their intellectual capabilities, that programming has helped him a lot more than he could have ever expected.]

You understand why I wanted an appropriate warning.

Edited (Friggin spelling) 2022-02-11 00:26 (UTC)

[More than anything else, Markus has always wondered when and why Simon started reacting to him like a magnet of matching polarity. It confused him to watch Simon slide away whenever he moved too close, or watch his gaze slide away every time they made eye contact; Markus even considered taking him aside to ask if he was secretly against the direction he'd taken the people of Jericho. Sometimes it even hurt a little.

But he also understands the response to their first kiss so he nods his agreement with Simon's words, then bumps their noses together again with a smile.]

I'm happy that we can be close like this. Your company makes me very happy.

[There. He found the words.]

[His forehead leans against Markus' as their noses nudge together, and his hand comes to rest at the corner of the other's jaw, thumb brushing across his cheekbone.]

You're very important to me, Markus. Even if we don't succeed, I'm going to be right here for you.

Excuse me while I dodge your captcha...

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject